


Take Me Away In Your DeLorean

by sumomomochi



Series: The 'Verse in Which Dirk is Anime Horatio Caine [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anonymous Sex, BDSM, Breathplay, Dom John, Dom/sub, Glory Hole, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sub Dave, although i feel like that is a teen wolf tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-06 01:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumomomochi/pseuds/sumomomochi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>doesn’t a glory hole sort of defeat the purpose of you being hot and blond and me wearing glasses?</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In which John has his first real homocrush and does stupid shit in effort to alleviate it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write porn involving anonymous sex and glory holes. Instead I spawned a full out AU. Now it's porn with WORLD BUILDING.
> 
> And apparently AO3 really does not want this to have pretty pesterlogs right now :I
> 
> Now with matching [podfic](http://cherrymilkshake.tumblr.com/post/62589317127/secret-revealed) courtesy of [cherrymilkshake](http://cherrymilkshake.tumblr.com/) :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now presented in technicolour.
    
    
    **> i’ve never exactly done this before but i’m interested in a hook up, i guess?
    
    i’m sort of short, tan, pretty well muscled with dark hair, blue eyes and glasses.
    
    i think i like skinny blond guys best and would like to meet up close to the ut austin campus.
    
         > Why not loiter in a bar? With looks like you say you have, you would be picked up easily.
    
            > oh i’m new to the area, so i don’t really know any, heheh.
    
        > wwishin i wwas in your area you sound like a total hottie.
    
            > uh thanks :)
    
        > yo hot blond twink at your service just a hop skip and jump away
    
            > wow, really?
    
                > yeah dude or else i wouldnt have answered
    
                > you free in about an hour
    
                    > yeah?
    
                        > sweet shoot me your number at martymcsupafly@gmail**
    
    

TO : [martymcsupafly@gmail.com](http://)

SUBJECT :

hey mister hot blond twink, take me out in your delorean :)

 

TO : [martymcsupafly@gmail.com](http://)

SUBJECT :

shit i forgot to give you my number

2066297793

 

TO : [illstealYOURnationaltreasure@gmail.com](http://)

SUBJECT : RE :
    
    
        > shit i forgot to give you my number
    
        > 2066297793
    
    

thank the lord ive a thing for dudes in glasses otherwise i dont think id be able to handle how dweeby you are

you have a nice cock right tell me you have a nice cock

wait ill find out soon wont i

mrh building third floor bathroom

ill text you when im there

 

**=== >**

You have a new text, and it’s from a number you don’t recognize. You’re assuming it’s the guy you’re... hooking up with.

_here_

And then you get another message, from the same number.

_take the far left stall and stick your dick in the hole_

You snort as you jog up the path to the building, and text back :

**doesn’t a glory hole sort of defeat the purpose of you being hot and blond and me wearing glasses?**

His reply is pretty immediate.

_guessing youve never done anything with a dude is why_

_thought it might be easier_

You flinch. You didn’t think it was quite that obvious. You mean, you _are_ new to the area, which you thought would have been a good enough reason, but this dude totally figured you out. You’ve been flipping your shit since the start of the semester because one of your classmates is _hot_. Like, really hot, and you have no idea how to deal with that. You see him all the time around campus, with his stupid Ray Bans and pretty face and then you collapse into your dorm room and beat off and it’s freaking you out a little.

Well, actually, you’ve given up on freaking out. It’s sort of been an ongoing issue so you figure you might as well _do_ something about it besides freak out and jerk off.

_besides i get off on the whole anonymous sex thing_

_give me at least one good face fucking through a shitty stall wall before you give me the full dokis four eyes_

Okay it’s a good thing you’re just about where you’re supposed to be. Hello Suddenly Bonersville. You push the door to the bathroom open and quietly step in. There are a pair of feet in the stall next to the one you’ve been allotted, ambiguous dusty red Chucks and black jeans.

“Um, hello?” You call. Your only answer is a quiet snicker. A couple moments later your phone buzzes in your hand.

_dude who even talks in this day and age_

_smartphones exist for a reason_

_that reason bro is texts_

You reply :

**sorry, i didn’t know it was taboo to talk around a glory hole.**

You nudge into the stall and your hook up chuckles under his breath.

_its not youd just look like a total weirdo randomly talking aloud in the john what if someone saw you_

Your heart skips a beat; how could he know your _name_? Pale fingers wiggle at you through the wall and you reread the message, just to be sure.

You’re seriously relieved to find you skipped words like a lazy ass. (It’s probably actually because you’re honestly really hard.)

_dude seriously how long does it take you to whip out your dick_

You mumble an apology and unbuckle your belt. Your phone gets dropped back into your pocket and you shove your shorts down under your balls. You hear a hitching of breath on the other side of the divider, the sound of a zipper being yanked down. It’s kind of surreal to get that sort of reaction but _fuck_ is it hot. You pull a condom out of your other pocket at almost the same time your phone goes off again and you mumble, “Is this okay?”

He wiggles his fingers through the hole again and you put the condom in them. He pulls it through and you guess inspects it, ‘cause a moment later it’s poked back at you with a big, fat, drippy red check mark.

“Dude is that paint pen?”

Your phone buzzes again, but you’re too busy pulling apart the wrapper to check. He’s left his fingers in the hole, casually curled around the bottom edge like he’s holding on.

He’s on his knees, you realize. There’s too much light reflecting off the back of his knuckles for him to be standing so he is on his fucking _knees_ for you. He’s really gonna do it. He’s _seriously_ gonna suck your dick, a complete _stranger’s_ dick.

Holy shit.

Your hands shake a little as you go to roll the condom on. Your phone buzzes yet again, and you really hope it’s not important because you’re a little busy. You moan, quietly, at the feel of your own hand and the idea that you’re going to be balls deep in the mouth of someone you came across on the internet. You get another new text alert. You are surprisingly popular tonight.

His fingers pull away as you get your dick close and then through the hole. He grabs on almost instantly, gently pumping your dick. His grip isn’t as tight as yours would be, but it’s a lot more firm than any of the girls you’ve been with and his lips are fucking _sinful_ when the wrap around your head. You bite your lip to muffle a groan as your hips twitch forward. You’re already pressed against the divider and you smack your knee against it trying to get yourself deeper down his throat.

You’re not even actually in his throat. He’s got his fist around the base of your dick as he sucks on the tip, his tongue pressing against the v of your head. Your toes are already curling in your shoes and you’re not sure if you’re enjoying this so much because he gives damn good head or if it’s because you’re pretending it’s your frustratingly attractive crush on his knees for you.

You hope it’s the first but you have a feeling it’s actually the later.

He swallows you down further and you’re completely enveloped by his lips and fingers. He sucks hard, his tongue curling against the underside of your shaft, and you hiss a curse. He pops off you with an obnoxiously exaggerated, wet, _arousing_ sound to mouth at the rest of your dick. You can hear him breathing hard as well, panting as he worships your dick.

He pulls away for a moment, pumping you hard and fast with his hand and then his mouth is back on you, loose and sloppy, and it just _stays_ there. You whimper in frustration and rock your hips. You’re rewarded with the slightest vibration of a moan, so you do it again, and again, going deeper each time.

Shit, he wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted his face fucked.

You squeeze the base of your dick, your fingers flat against your balls to keep them from flapping around, and you fuck his face. Your dick slides across the webbing between his thumb and index finger, his hand apparently braced against the wall, and you get swallowed up. He takes you deeper than he did before, when it was just him doing the work, and it feels amazing. This is hands down the best head you’ve ever gotten.

And you’re left totally free to imagine Mister Hot-Blond-Twink as the dude you’re crushing on because you’re fucking a god damned _glory hole_ in the music building. You are totally pretending that on the other side of the divide is a scrawny, overly freckled Texan blond with his stupid sunglasses hooked in the collar of his stupid shirt and his stupid pretty face blush pink and stuffed full of your cock.

You groan when he pulls away, your hips stuttering to a stop as he squeezes his fingers around you again. There’s a thump against the divide and your hook up hisses a curse. You can sort of feel his breath against your pubes through the hole as he pants for a couple of seconds. His hand works your dick as you guess he catches his breath, and then he’s back on you, sucking you off with even more enthusiasm than before.

Under the wet sound of his mouth on your dick, you hear fabric rustling. You know that sound. That is the sound of masturbation.

You ask, “You jerking off?” just to be certain and he moans around your length, nodding, and _fuck_. The idea that some dude is getting off to sucking your dick is _hot_. It takes hardly anything more to knock you over the edge. Your orgasm rips through you, burning hot. You shudder and gasp your way through, and the wall is blissfully cool against your forehead when you sag against it. He sucks at you a little longer, making sure you’re good and done, before he pulls away and there’s another thump against the divide.

“Shit,” he whispers, and his breath catches in his throat before he hisses it out.

You’re still crosseyed and jelly limbed from the mind blowing blow job when you realize, he just fucking _came_. You can just barely see drips of white on the tile, between your feet and black clad knees and holy _shit_.

Holy shit you think you made a dude come. The dude in the next stall just sucked you off and fucking _got off_ on it.

You hear him slide up the divide, your spent cock dripping his saliva on your underwear. You hear him yank out some toilet paper, zip up his jeans, and slide the lock of his stall open, but your eyes are glued to the spatter of jizz he left on the floor.

You practically _did that_.

He goes to wash his hands and you freak out, yanking the condom off and dropping it into the toilet. Your dick’s sticky with your come, frothy and wet and you’re going to stain your underwear but you shove it back in your pants anyway so you can fight the lock.

The door’s just swinging close as you stumble out, your cargo shorts sliding down your thighs. You button them up as you run after him, to at least thank him or see his face or _something_ , you don’t fucking _know_ , but there’s no one out in the hall.

You walk home in a daze. You don’t bother looking at your phone when it vibrates in your pocket again and you’re hardly phased when you run into your dude crush.

First thing you do when you reach your dorm is vomit into the sink.

**=== >**

EB : jade.

EB : i did something really fucking stupid.

GG : omg are you okay????

EB : yeah sort of?

EB : i just...

EB : there is apparently a glory hole in one of the bathrooms here on campus.

GG : ???

GG : john you are totally worrying me are you okay?

GG : what do glory holes have to do with....

GG : oh shit wait.

GG : did you just USE the glory hole?????

GG : :O?????

EB : yeah

EB : oh man jade i can’t be gay i’ve never liked a dude before!

EB : but there’s this dude who’s always around campus and he’s really pretty.

EB : and he’s got such a hardcore southern drawl.

EB : and he runs around with a stupid face with his stupid freckles and his stupid sunglasses

EB : and he’s all like hurr hurr i’m horatio caine i’m so cool and i don’t make any facial expressions.

GG : so youve got a crush on horatio caine?? but youre not in florida :O

EB : i’m not actually talking about horatio caine jade!

EB : but the whole scrawny pasty white badass with ray bans and minimal expressions....

GG : you have a crush.

EB : yeah.

GG : so you went to a glory hole.

EB : yeah.

GG : okay????

EB : no jade it’s not okay i am freaking out.

EB : i mean, i guess i wasn’t freaking out when i did it because you know, why not? maybe it’d help.

EB : but it didn’t.

EB : and this dude was all like hey i’ll suck your dick meet me in this bathroom.

EB : and he has the dorkiest email.

EB : and he was all like glasses make my kokoro go doki doki

EB : and he was basically REALLY FUCKING SILLY

EB : and then he was all like jam your cock down my throat

EB : like this dude got off super hard because of me.

GG : and that’s a bad thing?

EB : no? maybe? i don’t know.

EB : he absconded like a bat out of hell basically right after so i didn’t even get to like, thank him or whatever you’re supposed to do after getting your dick sucked by a real life anon.

GG : :T

GG : do you have a crush on him too now??

EB : no!

EB : i guess i’d be cool with talking to him more because he was pretty funny but...

EB : i was

EB : actually sort of thinking of the other dude.

GG : wow douche.

EB : well it’s not like i got to see this guy!

EB : all i know about him is that he likes back to the future enough to make a dorky email reference and is probably a total sub.

GG : so you have a crush on him.

EB : just because he’s a sub doesn’t automatically mean i’m in love with him!!

GG : of course not siiiigh

EB : don’t you sigh at me jade >I

GG : ill sigh at you all i want BUSTER >I

EB : bluh

GG : bluuuuh

GG : you have his email though right?

GG : go make friends with him or something

GG : or go talk to the dude youre suddenly crushing on :O

EB : quit oversimplifying things jeeze!

GG : im not youre just being a dumbass!!!

EB : i’m sorry i’m freaking out over the fact that some dude i don’t even know sucked my dick!!

GG : WELL WHOS FAULT IS THAT YOU BAKA?!?!?!?!

EB : uuuugh what do i do? seriously, what do i do?

GG : i dont know im not you???

GG : quit working yourself up so bad

GG : i dont even get why youre so upset about it

GG : like youre okay enough with liking a guy that you go to a freaking GLORY HOLE JOHN YOU IDIOT.

GG : but him getting off too freaks you out????

EB : WILL YOU STOP YELLING AT ME IT’S NOT HELPING.

GG : I’LL STOP YELLING WHEN YOU STOP BEING STUPID.

GG : who cares if you suddenly want the d

GG : its totally okay to want the d john

GG : i promise the d is okay

EB : oiafhdofahg jaaaaade i’m being serious

GG : so am i!!!!

GG : if you want the d go get the d

GG : talk to your crush or your suddenly sub or whatever

GG : watch some gay porn

GG : if you like it thats cool but if you decide you dont thats cool too just stop being a pussy about it!!!

EB : you’re an asshole DX

GG : and you’re a wussy mister im not a homosexual >I

EB : osdifhoasdghasdofasdg

EB : fine jeeze!

EB : i’ll.. do something idk.

GG : good!! :3

GG : you did at least have safe glory hole sex right??

EB : yeah? heheh he wrote a big sloppy check mark on the condom to approve it.

EB : it was funny.

GG : cuuuute x3

EB : ifoahdiadghas jaaade stop that DX

GG : sorry!

EB : no you’re not!!

GG : youre right im not *eyebrow waggle*

GG : so how was it???

EB : is this really an appropriate conversation to be having with your ex

GG : hey youre the one who came to me whining about how you were grossed out by a dude jizzing because of your hot dick remember :3

EB : ahsofihasdoga

EB : it was great, okay?

GG : because it was a hot dude?

EB : he was really

EB : enthusiastic.

EB : …...

GG : ?????

EB : i sort of liked thinking about the dude being like that.

GG : you dont know either of their names do you??

EB : ….....

EB : no :T

GG : jooooohn youre so STUPID gosh how did you manage that???

EB : i only have one class with the dude and i’ve never even SEEN the other dude.

GG : they need names

EB : yeah :T

GG : go email the sub dude already!!!

EB : fiiiiine jeeze DX

You get a text while you stare at the blank email, trying to figure out what to say to your hook up, and you’re thankful for the excuse to procrastinate. It’s just Vriska, asking if you wanna join her and Terezi for dinner. You sigh and send her a “maybe next time”; you’re just not quite in the mood to deal with their crazy.

You also have a handful of unread messages from your hook up’s number.

_fuck you do have a nice dick_

_y_

_you nervous bro_

_shit youre cute_

_lemme know if youre ever curious about the d again_

You immediately return to your chat with Jade.

 

EB : holy fuck jade.

EB : i think he’s interested in hooking up again.

GG : ???

GG : really??? :O

EB : “lemme know if you’re ever curious about the d again”

GG : wow cool

GG : are you interested?

GG : *eyebrow waggle*

EB : i don’t even know.

GG : uuugh john quit being so indecisive!!

GG : go for it!!

GG : why not??? hot guy interested in sucking your dick

GG : sounds like a good deal to me :O

EB : why are you being so pushy?

GG : im noooot!!

EB : yes you are!

GG : rude john :O

GG : i’m hurt :c

GG : can’t i be excited about my best friend finding someone he likes??

GG : so do it john

GG : go make friends and maybe get laid

GG : believe in me who believes in you :3

EB : dosaifhaogh

You text your hook up basically the first thing that comes to mind. It ends up being : i think my ex girlfriend ships us.

His reply comes before you have a chance to implode from embarrassment.

_you told your ex about us dude i had you pegged wrong_

You snicker, still uncomfortable but at least the dude’s funny.

**no you were pretty spot on. the whole liking dudes thing is new for me.**

_yeah figured_ he says, _heard you flipping out a little after_

_thought id give you a bit of space to cool off_

_i mean im kind of a big deal_

EB : oh my god jade

EB : “heard you flipping out a little after, thought i’d give you some space to cool off”

EB : i thought he was just being an asshole?

_you doing alright now_

EB : fhasdofiahdfah okay he’s asking me if i’m alright

GG : wow you bagged yourself as sweetheart ;D

EB : you say that as though he’s not just a hook up.

GG : well it sounds like you wanna get with him again soooooooo.....

GG : *eyebrow waggle*

**yeah i’m fine, i guess.**

_wow only fine dude i am hurt_

_you have any idea how hard you came_

_yeah no theres no way youre just “fine” bro_

_you should be on fucking cloud nine still_

You snicker, grinning at his ego.

**okay yeah. apart from the whole holy shit i just had a dude suck my dick for the first time thing, i’m pretty good. thanks ;)**

**shit wait. normal smiley face. i did not mean that wink sorry DX**

_aw darling no take backs youre gonna break my poor heart_

**yeah i’m so sure mister hot blond twink**

_im just a small town girl you cant just fuck me and leave me_

_how will i ever be worth a dowry now_

EB : eheheheheheh

EB : hbt is totally a dork omfg.

GG : hbt?

EB : hot blond twink

GG : orly??

EB : that’s what he said he was so *shrug*

**idk i’d think your pretty mouth would be worth something**

_oh megane-kun did i make your ochinchin feel funny_

**i am dying. you have killed me.**

_no senpai you havent noticed me enough_

Oh man. You are laughing so hard because of this guy, and you’ve sort of got a new chub going on because you’re like, ninety percent sure he’s propositioning you again.

You bite your lip and take a leap.

**and how would my little kohai like me to notice him?**

His reply isn’t immediate. Fuck, you think you pushed it too far. _Fuck_

But his reply does come, and it’s not him making jokes.

_you know how i said you came really hard?_

_i could fucking feel the force of it even through the condom_

_you fucking exploded and i just about blew my load in my shorts because of it_

_jesus shit i would love for you to fill me up and come all over my face megane-kun_

Holy shit.

Holy fucking _shit_.

**wow you’re a total sub, aren’t you?**

_i can switch nbd_

_not your thing?_

**holy shit no this is totally my thing**

_youre kidding me_

**fuck no i am completely serious**

He takes a long while to reply again, so you roll onto your bunk, wiggling your hand into your pants to stroke at your renewed hard on.

_i am seriously trying to figure out how i managed to stumble across someone whos flipping out over getting off by choking a dude with his dick and the worst part is not the fact that they wanna choke somebody with their dick_

Oh. Well.

**i’ve never actually found any dudes attractive before, but i’ve been sort of gaining momentum as a dom for a couple of years now.**

_so good old texas has given you the gay_

**i guess heheh.**

_so what had you switching teams_

**oh, there’s this dude i keep seeing around campus, i guess.**

_lemme guess hot skinny blond_

**heheh, yeah.**

Your hardon has waned again, and you thumb the head of your dick idly while you wait for him to reply.

_you pretend i was him huh_

Uh.

Fuck.

**um, yeah. sorry.**

_dude no whatever_

_not like you got to see my fine ass_

_that was the whole point really_

You don’t know what to say to that. Thankfully, he continues the text flood.

_6’3” blond brown eyes_

_nose is crooked from it being broken before_

_ninety percent freckles_

_minimal body hair as is only appropriate for a twink_

_not quite as girthy as you but you make basically anybody look like they got a pencil dick_

You laugh; **thanks i guess, heheheh.** And then you say, **you’re really tall.**

_yeah you said you were short youre what four feet_

**wow you’re a dick! i’m five seven thanks.**

_yeah betting youre a pocket beefcake_

**yeah i guess.**

_you use them muscles for anything good_

**uh i do landscaping in the summer?**

_i was thinking more along the lines of pinning me down and fucking me_

_but shit youre like super ripped huh_

**okay it’s really hard typing with only one hand on my phone.**

_so i do make your ochinchin feel funny_

**yeah**

_what you gonna do about it_

**hm, maybe force you to your knees, yank your head back by your hair, and stuff my ochinchin down your throat until you can barely breath. i’d fuck your face again, holding your head in place this time, and make you choke on my come.**

You send the message without thinking, doing your best not to hump your hand. You don’t actually try your best. You end up rutting into your hand, thinking back on how brilliant this dude was at giving head, how he’s such a hot sub even just through text. By the time you come, for the second time today because of this guy, you still haven’t heard back from him.

Shit.

**i was kind of overzealous there wow, i’m really sorry.**

You get enough time to clean up before your phone buzzes with his next text.

_no dude i did actually come in my pants that time_

_no successful edging for me if youre involved_

_needed a moment to get my brain back in working order so i bailed to take a quick shower_

_need to maybe not smell quite so thoroughly fucked when i head into work tonight anyway_

Jesus christ you’re already starting to get hard again.

**wow you’re turning me back into a horny teenager. stop that DX**

_yeah sure like you dont totally dig it_

_but ive seriously gotta start getting ready for work so ill hit you up again later_

_if youre alright with that?_

**yeah, i think i’d like that.**

_sweet later bro_

**=== >**

He texts you a quarter after three in the morning. You wake up to a string of his rambles that leave you red in the face and has your dormmate asking awkward questions.

But..

_fuck babe i cant stop thinking about your dick_

_holy shit its amazing id so be on that like fucking etards on molly_

_and you dom jesus christ pin me down and split me open would ya_

_please baby im a junkie for you gimme another hit_

_lemme wake up to a bump of your sweet ass dick_

_you can take me where ever you want fuck me where ever you want_

_i just want you in me again fuck please_

_please please please_

**this was actually really nice to wake up to, thanks :)**

You go about your day like normal. Or as close to normal as you can get, considering you’ve been passing dirty texts with a dude you don’t even technically know.

He doesn’t get back to you until early afternoon.

_holy fuck note to self i am a total slut when im drunk and you exist_

**is this not a normal thing for you?**

_the alcohol yeah the whiny uke begging not so much_

**well if it’s any consolation, i liked it?**

_swell_

_ugh uck_

_okay i cannot phone while this gloriously hung over_

_turntechgodhead_

**i’ll add you in a bit. got some homework i need to take care of. you rest up and drink lots of water okay?**

When you finally log back into skype and add him, you’re instantly assaulted with cherry red.

TG : aw man baby i love it when you give me orders i did exactly what you told

TG : chugged like two gallons of sunny d

TG : my bro gave me the weirdest fucking look

TG : but then he fistbumped me when i told him it was for a sweet ass dick

EB : uh, hi to you too, heheh.

EB : you’re really fixated on my dick, aren’t you?

TG : its the only bit of you ive actually seen

TG : and like ive said its a sweet ass dick

EB : well uh

EB : we could skype if you like

TG : scuse me if im wrong but aint that what were doing already

EB : no i mean like video.

EB : if you like

EB : i mean you’ve gotten to see my dick but all i got to see were your fingers.

EB : and you seem pretty cool

EB : unless you’re like, secretly a serial killer or something.

The video feed finishes loading just in time for you to catch his snickers at that and wow. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was hot. He’s got one hand shielding his eyes from the light of his screen, but he’s got messy, white blond hair and an easy smile. And he’s shirtless. You’re completely alright with saying he’s hot because he’s sucked your dick and he’s _hot_ wow.

“So,” he says, and he’s got a solid southern twang, “‘sup?”

You shrug and grin at the camera; “Not a whole lot. You weren’t kidding.”

“‘Bout what?” he asks, pulling his hand away from his face. He’s squinting at the screen, and there are dark bags under his eyes.

“You’re definitely hot.”

“Aw darlin’, you flatter me,” and there’s that easy grin again. He looks like the kind of guy parents want their daughters to bring home. “You’re pretty easy on the eyes too, you know.”

His hand goes back to shielding his eyes.

“You still hungover?” you ask.

He shakes his head; “Naw, photosensitive, babe. Don’t really help the hangover none though.”

“Oh. Did you wanna stop then?”

“Shit, naw. Your pretty face is worth it.”

You blush and look away. He chuckles and the sound of it makes you blush harder.

“Well ain’t ‘chu just a cutie.”

When you look back, he’s leaning in towards his cam, all wide, lazy grin and and sharp defined collarbones. Light reflects off something hanging off his nose.

“Is your nose _pierced_?”

He snorts in laughter, and it’s really cute, actually.

“Yep, my septum. Already got my nipples and m’ navel too, and I’m thinkin’ of getting my tongue done next.”

“I didn’t notice it at all when, uh...”

He snickers again, “It doesn’t actually get in the way of head, but I do usually wear just a retainer.”

“Oh,” you say, “Well, I like it. It looks good on you. Um, can I ask why you don’t.. wear it?”

“Most people figure I ain’t as smart as them, ‘specially if I look like some punk ass kid, so they treat me like shit,” he shrugs.

“It’s the southern drawl,” you tell him, smiling a little, “Catches them off guard.”

He shakes his head and his own smile widens a little, “Yeah, I’m southern, and blond, and the prettiest twink you’ll ever see. I’ve got all the dumb stereotypes goin’ on.”

“So naturally, you’re really smart.”

“Hell yeah,” he draws out the vowels like Vriska does, only it’s immensely sexy when he does it, “Physics major.”

“Oh man, really? My ex is a physics major too. I seem to have a type.”

“Sure sounds like it. You two still close then?”

“Yeah. We grew up together,” you shrug, “she’s like, my best friend. Mostly we broke up because we went to two different universities.” He makes a little “hm” sound and nods. “You still look really tired,” you tell him. As if on queue, he yawns and when you laugh at him he flips you the bird.

“Maybe later,” you tell him.

“Mm, I hope so.”

“Go take a nap or something. You’re gonna need a good night’s sleep to handle me,” you waggle your eyebrows at him and he laughs.

“Yessir,” he drawls, and his grin is gorgeous.

**=== >**

You talk to him practically constantly from then on. Mostly it’s just via text, since too much light gives him a headache and not enough means you can’t actually see him via video. In between the (frequent) sexting you find you honestly really like him. He’s hilarious and totally sweet and _really fucking hot_.

EB : i think i’m

EB : sort of falling for TG

GG : wow really?? really good head hook up dude right?

EB : yeah.

GG : but what about the other dude? your horatio caine wannabe??

EB : idk i still see him around and he’s hot but that’s it.

EB : TG is hot and hilarious and gives good head and he’s an amazing sub.

EB : we streamed the back to the future trilogy the other day and he knows all the lines.

EB : he’s a physics major and a total nerd and he’s getting his tongue pierced and i think i’m falling in love.

EB : and it’s not just the sub thing!

EB : like wow it’s really awesome that he’s actually interested in the same sort of kinks as me, rather than just humoring the more simple ones.

EB : no offence jade, you were great :)

GG : lolol yeah i know ;3

EB : but it’s

EB : i don’t even know

EB : how do you even know when you’re in love?

GG : well, he makes you happy, right?

GG : and you think he’s hot ;3

EB : ahaha shut up

GG : so if you think you love him... than you probably do!!

EB : you’re oversimplifying things again

GG : am not!! you just keep trying to make them way extra complicated, you dumb butt you.

GG : ask him out on a date or something.

EB : i.... sort of have been? but we’re both always busy :T

GG : uuuugh boys

EB : it’s not my fault! he’s got lots of work to do and i’ve got lots of work to do.

EB : we’re both working on our masters you know

EB : it sucks

EB : …. i miss him.

EB : i’ve been around him only once in person and i don’t even know his name and i miss him.

GG : oooh you’ve got it bad :((

EB : yeah :T

**=== >**

It’s one of the occasions he’s decided cam with you. You’re pretty sure he’s drunk. Although he doesn’t slur his words, he’s a lot more talkative.

And a lot more horny.

He’s on his knees, arched over his laptop so you get basically a full screen view of his dick as he fists it, desperately jerking off. His moans are tinny through your speakers, but they’re almost constant. He started with a narrative of what he wants you to do to him, the way he wants you to pin him face first and fuck him hard and fast, use him ‘til you come and leave your mark all down his back.

“Will you tell me your name?” you ask, unsure of yourself, as your thighs tremble with how much effort it takes to keep from coming already.

He gasps, “Dave.”

You lick your lips. “John.”

Dave lets out a shuddery keen and moans, “Fuck, John, babe, please.”

“Me first,” you tell him, upping the speed of your own hand.

“Please, please, please, John, fuck, please, I need you, fuck _please_ , please fuck me.”

You come with a gasp as he whimpers another “please” and watch half dazed as he shoots his load for you as soon as you give him the go ahead.

He flops over when he’s done, six feet of thin, fine bones sprawled out. All you can really see is his dick still, the camera catching from his navel to the top of his thighs.

“Wish you were here with me, babe,” he mumbles off camera.

“If only buses ran this late,” you tell him.

He sighs, “‘m half tempted to see if my bro will go pick you up.”

“Yeah, because ferrying around your booty call at three in the morning is so totally what he wants to do.”

“Man you don’t know him, could be that’s his life dream.”

“Sure it is.”

He hums and drags a blanket over him, wrapping it around his shoulders while still managing to keep his softening dick exposed, and wow, he’s just so perfect. You lick your lips.

“I, I love you,” you tell him, hoping to hell and back he’s drunk enough to not remember this in the morning.

“Mmn, love you too, babe.”

**=== >**

He remembers.

He texts you during your second lecture whining about how you’re not there to cuddle away his hangover, you should _totally_ be there to cuddle away his hangover.

When you go to bed that night, he says, “Love you, babe, sleep well.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for possible squick factor because of (mild!) joint trauma.

TG : i have a problem

TT : Is that so?

TG : yeah theres this thing

TT : A thing? Fascinating.

TG : do you really have to be such a cunt im trying to be serious

TT : I’m afraid you’ll have to be a little more forthcoming with the information should you actually expect me to contribute seriously to this conversation.

TG : i think ive landed myself a dom

TT : I thought that would be a good thing. You’ve been whining about it for long enough.

TG : hes straight

TT : Goodness, how did you manage to find him then?

TG : he got curious about the d

TG : apparently hes got a crush on some dude in his class so he went looking for a hook up

TG : to like get the gay out of his system or some shit

TG : except it’s been like four months of dick touching skype calls and hes said he fucking loves me

TG : and ive fallen so fucking hard for the dweeb

TG : jesus shit for being a total nerd hes hot as fuck and hes got such a great cock and hes such a good dom omfg

TT : I fail to see the problem, Strider.

TG : he wanted someone who looked like his crush

TG : for the hook up

TT : Is this you saying you’re worried he’s using you as a surrogate?

TG : fucking terrified

TG : i keep seeing him around campus and he never says a god damned thing to me

TG : and im too much of a chicken shit to actually fucking do anything about it

TG : im legit avoiding him now

TG : ive only gotten with him in person once that very first time and it was no big deal because it was supposed to be a one off but he was all like hey my face is just as great as my dick you wanna see

TG : and he was right his face is also great and he gets my jokes and knows what a fucking delorean is off the top of his god damned head

TG : and he never fucking looks my way in real life

TT : I take it you feel like he’s not interested in you in meat space?

TG : no he keeps trying to meet up again

TT : But you’re avoiding him.

TG : yeah

TT : And how is this doing anything to help your situation?

TT : Exactly. It’s not.

TT : For being so brilliant you are an absolute moron.

TG : yeah

TT : Why, exactly, are you avoiding him?

TG : its easier to pretend online

TG : that im not bothered

TT : By being a surrogate for his crush.

TG : yeah

TT : I see.

TT : Are you actually seeking advice or did you just want to bitch at me?

TG : just bitching

TG : straight dudes are the worst

TG : and im not about to let myself be serious about someone who’s just wanting to pass the time

**=== >**

You’ve gotten painfully good at pretending you don’t notice him anymore. You recognize him from before, sure. He was in one of your classes around the time he sent out the call for a hook up and you were absolutely floored when you recognized him on cam. He’s always come across as really sweet in person so you honestly were not expecting your blind box bootycall cum fantastic little dom to be such a boy next door.

So when you see him across the campus lawn chilling out with a collection of smoking hot babes, you remain completely composed.

You remain composed even as one of the girls jogs up to you and says, “Hi, you don’t know me but one of my friends -- “ she gestures at the group where John is sitting with his back turned to you “ -- has a total crush on you but is too much of a pussy -- ” she giggles and and shoots a dirty look back at the group “ -- to tell you.”

“Sorry,” you tell her, “I’m already involved.”

She shrugs, “Oh, no worries. Just thought you ought to know.” And then she bounces back off to her friends like it really isn’t a big deal.

**=== >**

EB : hey dave.

TG : sup babe

EB : nothing much

EB : jades in town so shes hanging out in between all her intern interview things

TG : sweet

EB : yeah it’s pretty great

EB : she totally wants to meet you though, if you’re alright with that.

TG : sure lets do this

TG : wait hold on lemme put on some clothes

EB : heheh okay :)

TG : sweet okay im all dressed and ready to meet the missus bro

EB : ahahah dork

The cam feed finishes loading and John’s front and center, giving you his biggest grin and you smile back because fuck you adore him.

And then a bubbly “Oh my god, hi Dave!!” filters through your speakers, complete with double shout poles and the sweetheart who informed you of her friend’s crush earlier leans into view. Her eyes blow wide and she goes, “Holy shit.”

She laughs and repeats herself, shoving at a confused John. You put two and two together and holy shit is right. You drop your head back against the wall behind you with a thump and drag your hand down your face.

“Wow, John, you are _such_ a dumbass,” Jade laughs and she’s got the same sort of grin as him, “Hey mister super hot twink.”

“It’s a small world, ain’t it,” you say.

“Okay,” John pipes in, “I don’t get it. Do you guys like, know each other?”

“Secret physics thing,” you say as she goes, “Dude, this is the guy you had a crush on.”

“No, that’s Dave.”

You lean over for your shades, sitting where you left them on your side table, and flick the arms open to settle them on your face. John’s jaw drops.

“Oh my god,” he says, stunned, “Oh my god. How?! You’re not even a real person, you’re like a robot or something, you can’t also be _Dave_.”

It’s ironically hilarious that he’s freaking out so hard. Honestly, you’re freaking out too, but you’ve had so much practice keeping cool about this topic and him that you’re totally capable of pretending like you’re not even phased.

“Oh my god. Oh my _god_.”

**=== >**

TG : so apparently i was his crush

TG : as in he went out jonsing for a taste of cock because of me

TG : and ended up having his cock sucked

TG : by me

TT : Ironic.

**=== >**

He slides up to you nervously the next day, taking the seat next to you in one of your shared lectures. He says, “Sorry I didn’t recognize you in person.” He’s blushing and fucking adorable, the boy next door you thought was cute but never worth pursual until you found yourself literally gagging for his cock.

“S’okay,” you mumble back to him, heart all aflutter because you’re actually talking face to face for literally the first time.

“You just look really different, you know. Clothed.” You snort and duck your head to grin. He leans his shoulder into yours and adds, “Okay, yeah. There you are.”

He sets one of his hands on your knee and it stays there the entire lecture.

**=== >**

He finally convinces you to let him come over, bussing out after his last class. He has the patience to wait until you actually get him fully in your apartment before he assaults you, pinning you to the door as he drags your face down to meet his. You groan into his mouth and cling to his shoulders, knees weak, while his tongue traces the back of your teeth. He’s already hard. You can feel him through his jeans where he’s pressed against your thigh and you practically fucking swoon.

He shoves you to your knees and you knock your elbow painfully against the doorjam. You can’t be bothered to actually care because he’s already pulled his dick out, pressing it against your lips. You obediently swallow him down, taking as much of him as you can in one go. Your dry lips catch against the skin of his dick, your mouth filled to capacity and you clutch at his jeans, drooling around him as he thrust shallowly into your mouth. He’s got his fingers in your hair, tugging at the strands where it’s longer on the top to pull your head back and you nearly choke on your moan.

You slide down, ass hitting the floor. He cranes your head back more, towering over you as he fills your mouth. You’d be panting if you could get enough air to do so. Instead, you just gasp and whimper every time he pulls back far enough for you to suck down a breath.

You’re about to bust through your zipper you’re so hard.

He’s got your nose pressed into his pubes and you’re desperately swallowing around him when you hear a door close. John pulls away a little too fast and you gag, choking on air now that you’re allowed to breathe freely. You tuck your face against his thigh and sob desperately.

“Now I ain’t against a free show,” your brother drawls, “but you might wanna take it outta the living room.”

John twists around to look at him, fingers carding through your hair. He’s still hard, spit slick against your cheek, and you’re fucking _dying_ for him to fill you up again.

“Uh, s-sure,” he stutters, tucking his dick away. You whine at the loss of it, flipping Dirk the bird behind John’s back as he pulls you back to your feet. He keeps his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you up as you stumble drunkenly on quivering legs. You’re cross-eyed stupid hard.

“Only door on the left,” Dirk says. John mumbles an awkward thank you and herds you down the hall. “Oh, and kid,” your brother calls after you, “hurt him and I kill you.”

You groan in embarrassment.

Once in your room, John goes, “Wow that was awkward.”

You sigh and flop onto your bed. He joins you, sitting on the edge, and you curl around him. You hum as he pets your head, pressing your face against his thigh.

“You okay?” he asks.

You shrug. You’re in this awkward limbo between subspace and being pissed at your brother, thank you Dirk, and your jaw aches from being forced so wide. It’s not so bad, especially since he’s here with you this time.

He nudges you over, kicks off his shoes to lay on the bed with you, wraps you up tight in his arms as you breathe through your come down. You’re still amazingly hard, and his erection presses hotly against your hip, but he just strokes your hair, kisses your forehead. You realize you’re shaking and snicker at yourself, burrowing into his chest.

“Despite the interruption,” he murmurs to you, “that was amazing. You did so good for me today, Dave, so, so good.”

By the time you calm down, your erection has waned significantly. You’re content to just snuggle with John though, and he seems more than happy to comply, fingers brushing against the short hair at the nape of your neck.

It’s a fucking trip, having him here for you after a scene, even if this one was incomplete. You’ve never really gone beyond simple edging and orders prior to today, but you’ve talked. This was by far the most intense thing the two of you have done and it hit on so many of the things you like best, holy fuck.

Your cheeks are still sticky with half dried tears when you arch up to kiss him. It’s slow and sweet, like a proper first kiss should be, and he rubs away the lingering wet clinging to your skin with his thumb. The two of you roll ‘til you are on your back and he’s hovering over you, straddling one thigh as you continue to kiss.

He sucks on your bottom lip and you gasp, comfortably aroused.

“Did you want to continue?” he asks.

You shrug; “Like I’m really going to say no to your sweet ass dick.”

He snickers and swoops in to peck you again, a chaste little thing that misses most of your lips and squishes your septum ring against your skin. Then he grinds against you, his hips and dick hard against yours, and you gasp. You are totally digging the power he has over you, the strength you can feel in his shoulders and thighs. He’s rock solid, and you don’t mean just his dick.

And hoo boy, his dick is definitely rock solid.

He nibbles and sucks at your neck, just under your jaw, and you tilt your head back to give him more room. The thought that, maybe, you’ll be marked up come tomorrow makes your dick twitch in the confines of your jeans.

He suddenly blows a raspberry against your neck and you shriek in surprise. John fucking _guffaws_ and you hear your brother knock shit over in surprise in the living room. You don’t bother stifling your own laughter, partly because what the dick shitting _fuck_ , and partly so your bro doesn’t burst in sword drawn while you’re (trying) to get it on.

“What the hell was that?” you ask through your snickers. He grins at you and waggles his eyebrows like a loon. You’re really only capable of keeping his face pushed away when he leans in, totally intending to be gross, but you don’t have enough leverage to get out from under him, trapped between his sweet ass bod and your bed. Your squirming has you grinding your balls down on his thigh, denim and your own thigh providing delicious friction against your dick and you’re half giggling, half gasping moans as he licks between your fingers, pulling your hands away from his face so he can continue to waggle his brows at you.

His fingers wrap all the way around your wrists, grip tight enough to almost hurt, and all of a sudden the both of you have sobered up. You suck in a shuddering breath. Your wrists ache where bones pinch together and the cartilage in your shoulders creak as he pushes your arms back, flat against the bed. He manages even with you exerting your own strength against him, and the fact that you don’t pose a snowball’s chance in Hell against him makes you groan. You roll your hips up against him too, arching ‘til you can press your dick against his and _fuck_ , he’s so hard.

Your eyelids flutter closed because _damn_ , and when you open them again, his face is red and he’s got a look of deer in headlights, eyes wide and brows drawn in, lips parted in surprise.

And you remember, fuck, he’s straight, and you want to crawl up inside yourself with how bad it hurts. It hurts but you’re good at pretending it doesn’t.

Then he whispers, “I’ve never touched anybody elses’ dick before,” and it’s so absurd that you can help but laugh. He frowns, sits back on his heels and pouts at you. He’s gone from sex meister to disgruntled kitten in point-oh-five seconds and it’s fucking hilarious. He grumbles, “It’s not funny, Dave.”

“No, dude, it’s totally funny. We’ve been fucking around for like, six months and you’ve never touched my dick.” It’s actually a little depressing too, but you don’t tell him that. He thwaps you against the hip and you snicker, “Good thing I’m here now. You can go ahead and get out awkward dick fumblings with the knowledge that I’m only gonna laugh at you.”

“You’re a dick,” he says, and he’s got a pinched in frown, the sort he gets when he’s focusing hardcore on taking notes. You smirk at him, waggling your eyebrows a little. His frown breaks, lips still drawn down but you’re pretty sure he’s fighting a smile. You cant your hips up into his.

“This is all you, babe,” you tell him, gesturing to your dick, “Anything you do, I’ll like. Promise.”

He bites his lip, all boy-next-door and none of your sweet little dom, and asks, “Really?”

You roll your eyes and huff a laugh. “Really, now stick your hand down my pants already, okay?”

He snickers and puts a hesitant hand on the bulge in your jeans. You suck in a hard breath, pushing your hips into his touch, and exhale shakily. He’s just thumbing the ridge of your dick, testing the waters, nothing too fancy, but you’ve been aching for his touch for _months_ and it’s fucking nice.

It’s better than nice.

You can feel the heat his hand gives off through your jeans and the strength he has behind the gentle touchings of his fingers. You already got a taste of his muscle when he pinned you down, and when he shoved you to your knees, and jesus shit you can’t wait for more.

He’s watching you with his baby blues blown wide, and your own eyes are half lidded with pleasure. It’s fucking adorable the way his hand on your junk is so shy. You itch to undo your pants, to push his fingers under your clothes, but he’s in charge here and it’s so much easier to slip back into subspace.

You lick your lips and whisper, “Please?” He makes a little noise and you continue, “Please don’t tease me.”

Honestly, you _want_ him to tease you, to rub at your dick through your clothes until you’re about to explode, but you’ve learned that asking for what you don’t want is the best way to go with him.

 

Except apparently when it comes to touching your dick?

He fumbles at the button, brows pulled together in concentration, and he’s such a fucking cutie, holy shit. The look of triumph that crosses his face when he manages to get your pants undone is cavity inducing. The way he nibbles his lip when faced with your schlong hidden behind nothing more than very snug boxer briefs, on the other hand, is way hot. He runs just the pad of his thumb up your length and your breath catches in your throat.

“Is that okay?” he asks and you nod, immediately and enthusiastically. He cracks a grin and places his hand across your dick. You arch into his touch, dick throbbing, and give him a little moan. He’s gone loose jawed, gaping at your crotch with a pretty little blush and his hand on your dick.

Fuck yes. The only way this could get better, you think, is if he pressed his pretty pink lips to the front of your shorts too, make you beg for him, make you come for him and suck you down and then fuck you ‘til you cry.

Okay, fuck, that is definitely on your list of things to do, jesus shit.

His hand is so much more confident on your dick now, sliding back and forth over the cotton of your boxers. The fabric is already pulled tight against your balls with the usual snugness of your shorts, and the movement of his hand drags it along with every stroke up your dick. The friction is delicious.

You put your hand over his, squeezing his fingers around you. Your eyes have fallen closed and your breathing is ragged, and you’re about ten seconds away from humping his leg like a jack russell terrier when he pulls back. You whimper at the loss of his hand, cracking one eye open to squint at him in the half light. He’s contemplating your underwear, apparently, and the bulge of your dick within. Maybe also the wet spot you’ve left, pre soaked through and sticking against your head and hip.

“Um,” he says, “Can I take these off?”

You're wriggling out of your pants immediately, hissing when your flushed dick hits cool air after the warm confines of his hand and your boxers. He watches you hungrily, his gaze almost guilty, and you flop back with your jeans around your thighs and your shirt rucked up around your stomach. Your hand falls immediately to your dick, without his permission. You give it a squeeze anyway, rocking your hips into your touch and licking your lips. The way he swallows is audible.

He bats your hand away. You obediently let it fall to the side, tucking both of your hands under the back of your hips to keep from temptation. He runs his own fingers down your stomach, along the protrusions of your hip bones, taking you in like you’re some precious bit of fine art. Which, yeah, is understandable. Your fine visage could totes be in a museum, but shit, if he don’t make you feel like you _deserve_ to be there.

“Okay, foreskin is weird,” he says, _finally_ running a finger around your head. Your dick’s still all snug with its turtleneck pulled up high, and you snort. He frowns at you; “Well it is! Even more so in person.”

But he’s sliding the tip of his finger along the fold, tugging it down to reveal the flair of your head. His finger continues its descent, his eyes glued to your crotch as he traces the tendon along the underside of your dick all the way to the base. He makes a face.

“Balls are also weird. Who even thinks balls are sexy?”

You do actually laugh at that, a for real laugh, because he has a fucking point. Wow, testicles are definitely not all that attractive.

“Dude, shut up. You don’t need to narrate your whole suddenly dick touching experience. Jerk me off already, jeeze.”

He sticks his tongue out at you, but wraps his hand around your dick, giving you a hesitant pump. You inhale slow and sink back into your bed, your grin fading to a pleased little smile. His grip is a little loose and he’s totally lost when it comes to the uses of foreskin, but it’s still really nice. You hum in contentment.

“So, uh, what do you wanna do?”

You shrug, peaking at him through your eyelashes. He’s worrying his lip still, face pink, and he’s so freaking adorable. You tell him, “I’m good with whatever.”

His eyes seem more brilliantly blue than usual when he looks up at you. “Are we going to fuck?” he asks.

You snicker, “I’d hope we’d actually get off, after all this build up, yeah.”

He’s starting to look like he’s about three seconds from a freak out and it _clicks_. Fucking straight boys and their boring sex standards.

“Fuck, babe, we don’t gotta go any further than you want. I’m totally down to having your sweet ass cock all up in my business but we don’t gotta if you’d rather not, okay?”

“What do we do then?”

Fucking straight boys and their boring sex standards. Even the kinky ones are stuck in the dick in a vagina as the only possible activity. You roll your eyes and slither out from under him, adjusting your pile of pillows to comfortably support you as you lounge back. You pull him forward into your lap by his belt loops and open his pants with practice ease.

There’s still noticeable damp spots on the front of his boxers where you drooled on them, and a sticky wet patch at the tip of his dick you’d love to suck on. You tap the tip of your middle finger to the spot instead, your toes curling at the way the digit comes away trailing a thread of pre.

For being a straight boy, he sure is getting off on this.

He’s hovering over your lap awkwardly, straddling your legs, framing your crotch with his fantastic thighs. Those thighs tremble when you pull his dick out and he plants his hand heavily against the wall above your head. The way he’s holding himself would make it so easy for you to scoot down and wrap your lips around his dick.

You don’t, for all that you want to, because you’ve already sucked him off and you are all about showing him the glorious variation in gay sex.

“Dude, you can relax a little; I ain’t about to surprise cornhole you.”

“Ugh, Dave, gross.”

You snicker at the face he makes and stroke his dick. “Would you prefer I straddle you instead?”

“Um. Yeah, I think. If that’s okay.” He looks supremely awkward, shoulders hunched up in a shrug as he frowns toward your lamp. You pap his hip.

“C’mon, off me then.”

He climbs off and you settle him where you were. You take a moment to admire him and the way his dick is hanging out of his open jeans. You’re tempted to dig out the old SLR to snap yourself a permanent memory of how _great_ his dick looks chilling out against the strip of stomach showing between the band of his boxers and the hem of his shirt.

You give in and lean down to lick a fat stripe up his cock. You lap away a little of the pre beading at his tip and your own dick gives an appreciative throb. He moans and it takes a lot more effort than you’d like to admit to pull away.

But pull away you do, shoving your jeans down the rest of the way so you can straddle his lap unimpeded. You strip your shirt off too for good measure.

John’s hands immediately gravitate towards your nipples as you climb into his lap, buttfuck naked except for the metal poked through your flesh. He fingers where the bars stick out on either side of your chest and says, “They’re a lot more noticeable in person.”

“Thanks,” you say back. Your nips aren’t actually all that sensitive, but you tolerate his prodding because your piercings are totally rad (and you spent like, two months fucking with them after they were healed enough to play with, so you know how it goes). He seems fascinated by the feel of the hard bar under your flesh. You smirk at him, “Neat, huh?”

“Oh, uh,” his face is bright red when he looks up at you, and he only makes eye contact for a brief second, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Pff, ‘I guess’? Dude, you are totally enamored with my chest bling.”

He giggles and shrugs and his warm, broad palms slide down your sides. He rests his hands on your hips, pulling them to his. You grind against him and shudder at the way he gasps, fingers tightening against your skin.

“Good, right?”

John just nods, his eyes falling shut as he holds you to him. You arch into him, contorting like a comic book heroine, and your back is going to hurt like a bitch later, but the way your dick is pinned against his, between both of your stomachs, is fucking glorious. You roll your hips against his and yeah, fucking glorious; worth it ‘cause you said so in chat.

You swallow hard as you rub yourself against him, biting on your lip. After months of denying yourself him in person, you’re overloaded, drunk on his touch, shamefully close. His grip has migrated down to boot, squeezing your ass, a couple fingers splayed down the back of your thighs. You press your cheek against his temple and moan. He bites your neck, sucking hard, and you almost punch the wall in surprise, slamming your hand against it to keep from toppling over.

You curse and shudder, and when you hear the front door snap shut, you snicker a little.

John makes a questioning noise at you, fingers kneading the top of your thighs, and you tell him, “We drove my bro out,” with a wheezy laugh. He looks mortified so you press your lips to his forehead and assure him the bastard probably deserves it.

“If you say so,” he murmurs, still totally embarrassed.

“No dude, he makes some freaky ass porn, and I’ve walked in on him and his sugar daddy getting it on in the freaking kitchen more times than I care to count. I’m talking like, full frontal old dude dick at my breakfast table. He can tolerate a little wall poundin’.”

John’s removed his hands from your ass to cover his face, fingers folding around his glasses as his face burns.

“Oh my god, aren’t people from the south supposed to be prudes?”

You laugh, “Not when you’re talking ‘bout two kinky queers who’ve lived together for more ‘n a decade.”

John groans and drops his head back against the wall. You’re given the perfect opportunity to return his earlier gesture, so you do, nibbling at his throat a lot more gently than he did yours. He gives a pleasant sigh and drops his hands from his face.

“How can you be so weird but still so _normal_ in public?” he asks you with a whine. You snort and shrug.

“Magic.”

He rolls his eyes at you and you just give him a wry grin in return, wiggling your hips over his. His breath hitches and your grin widens.

And then he knocks you flat on your back, sitting between your spread legs with your calves hooked over his thighs, and he’s still basically fucking dressed while you’re as naked as the day you were born. You groan and go jelly limbed against your bed.

“Um, do you have lube?”

You point at your side table, and you feel him pull away to rifle through your drawer. The sound of your lube bottle’s cap being popped open makes you squirm in anticipation. He pours some unceremoniously onto you, straight onto your dick, and you snap, “That’s fucking _cold_ , fuck.”

He looks completely taken aback when he stutters an apology. You frown at him and at the cool dribble of lube down your asscrack but he wraps a hand around your dick, pumps it a couple time to spread the lube around, and his hand feels twice as hot after the chilly lube. You groan and flop back again as he leans over you, adding his own dick to his grip around yours. He slides against you messily before he pulls away again. You crack open one eye just in time to see him pull his shirt over his head and damn, he’s hot.

He folds over you again as soon as he’s tossed his shirt away, frotting hard against you. You hiss obscenities as you clutch at his shoulders, moving with him. The lube more than does its job, the two of you humping without hardly any friction. You’re quickly crawling back towards impending orgasm, shuddering beneath his thicker frame.

Oh yes, he is definitely the sort you like best, well muscled but not cut, and pretty enough to match your vanity.

Best yet, he’s got impeccable timing, batting your hands away from his shoulders to pin them down just right, right when you need him too to escalate your arousal.

He’s breathing hard, pistoning his hips against yours as you take it like a champ, gasping and eager as fuck for when you’ll get the chance to have him fuck you like this (please let it be soon, fuck, please). Your toes curl as he drags your hips to his, pulling you half into his lap with one hand, the other still pinning one of your arms. You arch into him, keeping your dick pressed against him, and your shoulder twists, starting its slide out of socket, familiarly painful.

You come with a drawn out groan, splattering yourself clear up to your chin, shuddering as you ride out your orgasm. He continues to rut with you all the while, hot and hard over you. You sag back down against the bed, gone limp and hazy. Your shoulder snaps back into place as you relax, and you gasp. The pain mingles with your overstimulated sensitivity, John still fucking against you. You whimper and moan, squeeze your thighs around his waist, beg for him fuck you, mark you, claim you, ‘til you’re sobbing and he’s got both hands on your hips to pull you harder against him.

 

When he comes, he fucking _explodes_ across your stomach, nails digging into your skin, and you give a feeble cry as you twitch with a weak, almost-dry second orgasm.

He slumps down over you, peppering your face and neck with kisses, showering you with praise, “Fuck, that was so good, you were so good, so perfect, so good, Dave.” You wrap your arms around his shoulders, clinging to him again. Your own shoulder snaps again and you grit your teeth at it, not quite sitting correctly, but you were _good_ so you ignore it for now as your dom holds you close.

You don’t get all the post-scene snuggles you desire when he pulls away a couple minutes later, grimacing at the jizz crusting over on your stomachs. You’ve got pretty lines of white all up your chest, and a definite puddle in your navel -- that’s going to be a bitch to clean from your belly ring without removing the fucking thing.

“Gross.”

You snicker and give him a limp wristed punch to the shoulder; “Your fault.”

He grins at you and says, “Yeah, I suppose it is.” He rubs his thumbs along your hip bones and you sigh. Then he says, “What do I do about it?”

“My jizz does not have a chemical composition any different from yours,” you tell him, “Do what you normally do.”

He’s quiet for a long moment; “Uh, I usually just use my shirt or something, but I’ve kinda gotta wear that home so...”

You outright laugh at that, snorting like a pig.

“Use mine then, or whatever.”

And he actually fucking does, using your white v-neck from earlier to mop up the mess on your chest for you. You’re probably still gonna want a shower later, but it’s good enough for snuggling now. You pull him down, back on top of you, with the shirt still wedged between your bodies, so you can press your face against his neck.

“You okay?” he asks and you nod.

“Jus’ wanting some affection,” you tell him, voice quiet. He cuddles you for a while longer, his weight slowly drooping to rest on you.

It’s nice, having him here.

You’re so fucking stupid for him, jesus shit.

Eventually, you nudge him off, a little sweaty where your bare skin was pressed against his. You require a shower and some food and possibly pants. And your shoulder properly back in socket, fuck, ow. It protests as you push yourself up to sit, and you roll it with a grimace. John’s watching you, concern on his face, and he winces at the pop your shoulder gives when you finally wiggle it back into place.

“What the hell was that?”

“Shoulder dislocated,” you shrug and he looks shocked; “No, dude, it happens all the time.”

“You should... probably see a doctor about that then.”

You snicker, “I have Ehlers-Danlos. Dislocation is a thing. It doesn’t hurt, don’t worry. Okay, no, if one of my knees decides to bend wrong I’ll probably black out, but my shoulders do it often enough that it’s not a big deal.”

“That’s really gross.”

“No, wanna see what’s really gross?” You grin at him, wide and devious. You don’t give him a chance to say yay or nay before bending your fingers back to touch your wrist. He goes pale and you cackle.

**=== >**

“You actually have a DeLorean?” he asks, wide eyed. You snort and shrug.

“Yeah. Well, sorta, I guess. Bro technically bought it for me, but his truck took a shitter a couple years ago and he hasn’t been able to replace it so...” You trail off and shrug again.

“Dude, sweet.”

You decided to go for tacos, once the two of you were clean and redressed. Dirk was even back from wherever he fucked off too, and let you scoop up the keys on your way out the door. You waggle your eyebrows at John; “It’s even got the gull wings.”

“So you really are going to take me away in your DeLorean?”

“Hell yeah, gonna warp through time to the four star restaurant that is Taco Bell.”

He laughs at that, and harder when you pull the door open for him with a sweeping bow. He slides into the car. You slam the door for him and climb in the other side. You’re just buckling up when he scratches at the crotch of his jeans and says, “Fuck, I think I got lube on my pants.”


End file.
